Aqueous underwater

Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence, won't u come out to play? Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day? The sun is up, the sky is blue. It's beautiful and so are u. Dear Prudence, won't u come out and play?

Happiness is a myth that was created to make us buy things, quotes Shantaram. Apparently, Karla said so and I feel she was right. That alone throws a slice of my world into swirling chaos. "No happiness?!" says Heart. "What do i search for then? What am i supposed to tug the strings for then? Shite man. Am i just supposed to pump B-ve blood?"

"You're a fool," says Brain. "Happiness is some sort of satisfaction. Buy a couple of things, you know you want to. And when u make some more money, buy some more things. It's endless, I know. But what the hell, you like some of those things, don'tcha?"

"Fuck you both," says Consciousness. "There is nothing. Never was, never will be. Purposelessness has sunk in and it is here to stay. Understand more, leave this world aside. It is your only hope."

Aqueous is confused. Un"happy". Grumpy. Sad. Very confused. Aqueous wants to go swimming. Aqueous was water to surround her and block her ears. Aqueous wants gills so that she can stay under-water. Admire jellyfish and eels. Make friends with dolphins and sharks. Become a mermaid and surface mysteriously in uncanny places, to baffle humanfolk. Aqueous wants to understand underwater now.

Dear

Dear Prudence, open up your eyes. Dear Prudence, see the sunny skies. The wind is low and the birds will sing that you are part of everything. Dear fucking Prudence, won't u open up your eyes?

paranoia and the truth

i adore trees. forget fauna. they are what this planet is essentially made up of. tress, strong and beautiful, bending to form shapes of undeniable perfection, as they seem to me. each tangle of each branch is perfect, the form of any leaf, immaculate. the fruits. the seeds. the stems. the roots. perfection. the essence of life- a tree..

they seem to sad nowadays. stooping. bending to the whip of human whimsy. shimmering a dull gray amidst clouds of smoke. their statures axed without remorse. such beauty wasted. each tree. every sapling. crushed under a poisonous heel.

You are so wrong. you don't look back do you? you are so short-sighted, ignorant, self-obsessed. well guess what. there is something bigger than you. something you cannot understand. something you have not created. its the universe that does not give a fuck.

bring it on. let's see you build plastic out of nature. build machines out of innocence. design artificial intelligence. the next step of evolution. do what you think you ought to. with that lethal weapon of yours. your superior brain. no claws. no canines. no sting. no strength also. but a brain. fragile as the latest nano technology. a brain. Oooh! goosebumps. hold it carefully. seal it with some more plastic if u have to. bubble-wrap your treasure. because, unless u do that, one fine day, the earth will grow tired of being an abused housewife and will shake u off like a bad case of fleas.

a family. career. jobs. political manifestos. coffee. books. guitars. pets. love. cars. wars. oil. and those small bits of paper, the monies. as useless as a body after death. infact, it is useless right now. you just think differently. but it is everywhere. making small notes in the eternal diaries. humans. animals. trees. earth. have you ever killed an ant?

i don't care anymore. i know something that you don't. i hope you do realize it soon. because their isn't much time. there isn't anywhere to go. there isn't any purpose of anything. what fools. what i need to do is accept this. that you are never going to learn. you are far too meaningless to learn. and i don't want to blog about you anymore either.

The end of us.

As far as relationships go, I think you may have been my longest. After all, I've known you for seven years and many people will bear testimony to the fact that I don't care to maintain thriving relationships. So anyway, here we are today. If I were in a dark room, you would glow with your luminescence, a power that you have over me. You have pulled me, pushed me into you, invited me, cradled me. Many nights I slept in irrefutable peace, as you watched over me. Well, rather, cast an unbreakable spell over me. So many days that I spent without you, I thought about the comfort that you give me. The sense of utter mortal fulfillment that you dole out. You- my lover  on so many good days, and my confidante on so many bad. You alone make me reek with uncontrollable laughter that I myself do not know the cause of. I am different in your company, more human and more vulnerable than ever before. 

You leave me damaged. You leave me enraged. Frustrated beyond words by your absence and retching in your presence. I have exchanged many honest vows with you, spoken words no one has ever heard. And, do you realise where it has brought me today? You compel me to act and in those mysterious guidelines, I have lost my purpose. My own meaning, depth, all over taken by You. Already! Strange, because, relationships don't work this way. I will give up everything and watch myself fall as many others have fallen before me?

I could end this with some standard words that I have picked up. "We can still be friends", "It's not you, it's me!", "I just need my space right now". But, no. As close as we have been, I need to show you utter honesty. It's over, lover. You never should have come over. And so, alcohol, you bitch, I'm breaking up with you.

the first.

This is the first one. Not sure if i already want to plunge in or just sift through the water for a while. But the undercurrents are strong.